Local self-styled "Music Borstal", "Access To The Musics", has just received well-deserved funding for their new venture. The brains behind their popular new "Entrepreneur" course put in a bid for the much-needed new wing of ATTM's new off-shore music prison. For many years local councillors argued over the best way to keep youngsters off the streets, whilst also appearing to the general public like the unemployment figures had gone down, and making Norwich look like the cultured city that it clearly isn't (not their words, or ours).

The obvious answer was to rush through ATTM's application! And building work has already begun on the state-of-the-ark steel box, which will apparently float underneath the river, next to Access For The Music's current Kings Treet location.

Students will arrive to "college" once a week, at 1pm sharp, as per usual, and will then be forced along a conveyor belt made of toughened steel, to a soundproof "cell", fully kitted out with drums, guitars, acoustic "padding", and a panic button, which isn't connected to anything.. Here they will "study" for the rest of the day, until they've passed their fake exams, or until ATTM get next year's funding approved.

ATTM's Principal/Poacher, "Sir Ian Ponsington Smythe III", was unnavailable for comment, as he had to rush off to an urgent opticians appointment, for the fitting of his new monicle..