Alloy Ark's diminuitive singer Dani Appadoo is to apparently be inducted into the Guiness Book Of Records as "world's quietest singer". We rang Guiness Book Of Records pundit Norris McSquirter, who could neither confirm or deny the claim, due to having been dead for many years.. We also rang Dani, but couldn't hear a word she said. Just a high-pitched squeaking; which in hindsight was probably caused by our reporter rocking back and forth on his chair. He does that all the time.. Idiot..