Honourary local band "The Cheek" have changed their name again. As most of you will know, they were originally called "Cheeky Cheeky & The Nosebleeds", but shortened their name to "The Cheek" after being taken to court by 80s puppet "Cheeky The Monkey", and his puppeteer/manager "Keith Brown" (from local "duck-n-roll" club duo "Keith Brown & Orville").
In a stroke of bad luck, the band were AGAIN taken to court, this time by 60s folk-rock band, "The Cheek" (no relation), and have been forced to further shorten their name, to simply "Che".

***BREAKING NEWS*** - News Justin! The band have just been issued with Court Proceedings, by relatives of dead Cuban leader, Che Stadium.

Stay tuned for further updates..

CHINESE WHISPER!!! - Norwich Arts Centre have revealed plans to make the venue "more echoey", using special "money traps". We spoke to venue manager "Stuart Ian", who told us "our understanding is that if you throw enough money into a bottomless pit, then the venue will magically start making a profit." When asked what this had to do with making the venue more echoey, Ian Stuart said "how the bally hell should I know! I just thought I'd make it sound even more echoey so I could see the looks of frustration on band members faces! Now, fill out this Escalator form, and I'll give you £5000, no questions asked, just like I have done for everyone else I know!".
At this point, our reporter walked out, but he shouted down the corridor "and if you're in two bands, I'll give you £10,000, and you can use all the money to fly one of the bands to South By South West, just like "********" did!
At this point, he winked, drank the bar dry, and booked the same 4 local bands for all the upcoming gigs in the next 6 months..
***We can't reveal which band/s he was talking about, for legal reasons, and because we here at "Norwich Music Rumours Uncovered!!!" are fans of both bands.***
Keep supporting local music everyone!

Happy Christmas, rumour hounds!!!

Merry Christmas from "Norwich Music Rumours Uncovered!!!".

Don't worry, we'll continue to bring you all the freshest gossip, rumours, facts, and utter made-up rubbish, fresh from the venues, pubs, bars, and bedrooms, of Norwich's music scene, during this festive period of pretending to love your relatives, pretending you like sprouts, and pretending that you're not actually laughing at the incredibly life-like rumours that we bring you exclusively, here on "Norwich Music Rumours Uncovered".

When will the next rumour appear???

Nobody knows!

Keep your ears peeled, and your eyes on the prize.
(Clue: the next one will be Boxing Day at 12 noon)

Don't forget to Twat us on Spotify!

Tell all your friends about us, add us on Twitter and Blogger, and let's make 2011 the bestest year for local music rumours!

Local red-haired "urban" singer Ed Sheeran this week signs a deal to be Elton John's chauffer.  The deal has been in the works since this summer, when Ed appeared on Elton's over-the-top phone-in radio show, "Right, I'm Leaving!", on Los Angeles "R-Koq" radio station. The pair got on like their houses were on fire, and Elton offered Ed a record deal, on his "Man Rocket" record label; but later in the same show the pair got into an argument over what colour Ed's hair is. Elton said it was obviously ginger, but Ed insisted it was "Burnt Auburn Delight". Things escalated, and the offer of a record deal was replaced with a deal whereby Ed drives Elton around all day in his diamond-studded Nissan Micra, and if he's lucky he'll get to polish Elton's "special little friend". We contacted Ed for clarification on what this meant, but Ed refused to go into any more detail, as he was busy doing sick-ups into his hoody.
Well Ed, we wish you the best of luck. Keep it real!

Local oddball music promoters "Howlback Hum" recently celebrated their 10th Birthday by putting on 6 gigs in 5 days, in 7 different venues (?).  Or rather, they INTENDED to do that. But upon setting up their cobbled together PA system each night, they found that they were getting uncontrollable ear-splitting howlback from the microphones, and bowl-shaking hum through the PA speakers.
So, it was business as usual, hehe, and the gigs went on without a hitch!

Not music related, or Norwich related, but we think Al Pacino should open a neck-wear shop called "Scarf Ace".. Just us? Oh well..

Local 4-piece M.O.R band "The Loyal Few" have sacked their guitarist, Matt. The well-loved local A.O.R band, known for their own particular bland of lightweight easy-listening pop, are carrying on as a 3 piece. They are however changing their name to "The Loyal Fewer"..

Last Monday £30,000 was stolen from Norfolk & Norwich Festival headquarters in Tombland last Monday, when festival organisers accidentally left open the door to their safe, last Monday. Unfortunately, they also accidentally left the safe out in the street.. Even more unfortunately, they also accidentally left a sign in front of it saying "FREE MONEY!! BE MY GUEST! I WON'T TELL! HONEST!". Festival officials have issued a statement saying "Cor! What am I like! Hehe. I tell you, if my head wasn't screwed on, lol! rofl, etc..".
Police are doing their best to track down the naughty people, but say "we're busy, erm, I wanna say, fighting crime? But that makes it sound like we're superheroes. And we're not.. It'd be pretty cool though.. Ooh, gotta go! The sandwich man's arrived!".

Local band made good, Those Kabeedies, have just been picked as the new face(s) of Bodyform, the feminine time-of-the-month product range. Fab, Rory, Katie and, erm, Bob (?) will be shown in the next Bodyform TV advert, roller-skating, mountain climbing, walking a dog, and skinning a rabbit, to advertise Bodyform's new unisex sanitary towel, whilst their hit single "That One About Tiny Elves" plays in the background.
We couldn't be happier!

Contrary to popular belief, local acoustic duo "Frost & Mudd" didn't get their name from their respective surnames (which are Mudd & Frost). Bizarrely, their moniker (no, not the irritating one from "Friends") is taken from a legendary one-off performance that geriatric TV Presenter Sir David "Sir David Frost" Frost did with 70s pop group "Mud", on his talkshow "A Touch Of Frost" in 1974.
It was at the height of Glam Rock, and Sir David, battling falling viewer figures, and desperate to appeal to the younger audience, dressed up in glittery platform boots, a skintight silver bodysuit, open to the waist, and fashioned his hair into the shape of what appeared to be a giant mushroom. He then proceeded to perform a demented rendition of Mud's popular hit "Tiger's Feet", stomping around the stage like a slightly less poeadophilic Gary "Up The" Glitter, and fell headfirst off of the stage into the audience.
Footage of the embarrasing performance sometimes pops up on Youtube, but tends to get removed very quickly by the copyright owner, Jimmy Saville.
"So how come they aren't called "Frost & Mud" then?" I hear you ask?
Well, actually, they WERE called that, but in a curious twist (not the 50s dance craze) they were threatened with legal action by The Weather Channel, who had registered a patent on the phrase "frost & mud". To avoid potential court action the duo added a "D", and the rest, my friends, is history!

Plans to celebrate Wombat Wombat's 40th Annie-versary this spring are really hotting up. Local Wombat-linked bands Bearsuit, Scumbag Phil (formerly Fuckbag Dress) and The Three Fever Fevers have been adapting Annie The Musical for a special one-off performance in the bar of Norwich's "Norwich Arts Centre", in Norwich.
Rehearsals have been taking place sporadically in local pubs around closing time, and then out in the streets; very, very loudly! All the way home!
When asked to comment, Wombat's Annie just handed us another Wombat Wombat flyer, and proceeded to reel off a list of all the local bands that she hates, without being prompted, and insisted we agree with her that The Three Fever Fevers are the best Norwich band in years.
Annie, you had us at "have a flyer"..  :o)

In a bid to be as cool as the Fever-Fever-and-The-Brownies-female-member's-hybrid-band "Brothers", the male members (teehee!) of The Unremarkables and The Loyal Few have decided to get together to form a, oh, for christ's sake, who the hell even cares..
*Editors Note: the views expressed by our reporters don't always echo those of our own brains. This may or may not be one of those times.*

Local hip-hop rapping band, "Children Of A Dying Breed", have taken it upon themselves to start a new charity called "Children Of Dying Breeds". For a small monthly fee, you'll be able to sponser the babies of soon-to-be-extinct animals. For a larger premium, you'll be able to buy them outright, and do what you bloody well please with them. (This latter option isn't listed on the website, but we found this out in a phonecall to the charity/crew's "disc jockey" "MC Sinster". He said "to be honest mate, once the money's in my bank account, I couldn't give a monkeys what you do. Peace".

*Editors Note* - Steve, that phone call was strictly off-the-record, so can you please edit that bit out before you publish this one?
Thanks,
Lionel.