Local 4-piece M.O.R band "The Loyal Few" have sacked their guitarist, Matt. The well-loved local A.O.R band, known for their own particular bland of lightweight easy-listening pop, are carrying on as a 3 piece. They are however changing their name to "The Loyal Fewer"..

Last Monday £30,000 was stolen from Norfolk & Norwich Festival headquarters in Tombland last Monday, when festival organisers accidentally left open the door to their safe, last Monday. Unfortunately, they also accidentally left the safe out in the street.. Even more unfortunately, they also accidentally left a sign in front of it saying "FREE MONEY!! BE MY GUEST! I WON'T TELL! HONEST!". Festival officials have issued a statement saying "Cor! What am I like! Hehe. I tell you, if my head wasn't screwed on, lol! rofl, etc..".
Police are doing their best to track down the naughty people, but say "we're busy, erm, I wanna say, fighting crime? But that makes it sound like we're superheroes. And we're not.. It'd be pretty cool though.. Ooh, gotta go! The sandwich man's arrived!".

Local band made good, Those Kabeedies, have just been picked as the new face(s) of Bodyform, the feminine time-of-the-month product range. Fab, Rory, Katie and, erm, Bob (?) will be shown in the next Bodyform TV advert, roller-skating, mountain climbing, walking a dog, and skinning a rabbit, to advertise Bodyform's new unisex sanitary towel, whilst their hit single "That One About Tiny Elves" plays in the background.
We couldn't be happier!

Contrary to popular belief, local acoustic duo "Frost & Mudd" didn't get their name from their respective surnames (which are Mudd & Frost). Bizarrely, their moniker (no, not the irritating one from "Friends") is taken from a legendary one-off performance that geriatric TV Presenter Sir David "Sir David Frost" Frost did with 70s pop group "Mud", on his talkshow "A Touch Of Frost" in 1974.
It was at the height of Glam Rock, and Sir David, battling falling viewer figures, and desperate to appeal to the younger audience, dressed up in glittery platform boots, a skintight silver bodysuit, open to the waist, and fashioned his hair into the shape of what appeared to be a giant mushroom. He then proceeded to perform a demented rendition of Mud's popular hit "Tiger's Feet", stomping around the stage like a slightly less poeadophilic Gary "Up The" Glitter, and fell headfirst off of the stage into the audience.
Footage of the embarrasing performance sometimes pops up on Youtube, but tends to get removed very quickly by the copyright owner, Jimmy Saville.
"So how come they aren't called "Frost & Mud" then?" I hear you ask?
Well, actually, they WERE called that, but in a curious twist (not the 50s dance craze) they were threatened with legal action by The Weather Channel, who had registered a patent on the phrase "frost & mud". To avoid potential court action the duo added a "D", and the rest, my friends, is history!

Plans to celebrate Wombat Wombat's 40th Annie-versary this spring are really hotting up. Local Wombat-linked bands Bearsuit, Scumbag Phil (formerly Fuckbag Dress) and The Three Fever Fevers have been adapting Annie The Musical for a special one-off performance in the bar of Norwich's "Norwich Arts Centre", in Norwich.
Rehearsals have been taking place sporadically in local pubs around closing time, and then out in the streets; very, very loudly! All the way home!
When asked to comment, Wombat's Annie just handed us another Wombat Wombat flyer, and proceeded to reel off a list of all the local bands that she hates, without being prompted, and insisted we agree with her that The Three Fever Fevers are the best Norwich band in years.
Annie, you had us at "have a flyer"..  :o)

In a bid to be as cool as the Fever-Fever-and-The-Brownies-female-member's-hybrid-band "Brothers", the male members (teehee!) of The Unremarkables and The Loyal Few have decided to get together to form a, oh, for christ's sake, who the hell even cares..
*Editors Note: the views expressed by our reporters don't always echo those of our own brains. This may or may not be one of those times.*

Local hip-hop rapping band, "Children Of A Dying Breed", have taken it upon themselves to start a new charity called "Children Of Dying Breeds". For a small monthly fee, you'll be able to sponser the babies of soon-to-be-extinct animals. For a larger premium, you'll be able to buy them outright, and do what you bloody well please with them. (This latter option isn't listed on the website, but we found this out in a phonecall to the charity/crew's "disc jockey" "MC Sinster". He said "to be honest mate, once the money's in my bank account, I couldn't give a monkeys what you do. Peace".

*Editors Note* - Steve, that phone call was strictly off-the-record, so can you please edit that bit out before you publish this one?
Thanks,
Lionel.