Local record producer David Pi reveals bizarre secret to his success!!

As very few of you know, David Pi is the great, great, great, great, great grandson of William Jones, the famous Welsh mathematician, who amongst his other achievements invented Pi (the constant ratio of the circumference to the diameter of any circle). David is now the sole heir to the Jones millions. But, it came at a price..

After signing a confidentiality agreement on his 16th birthday, David had to immediately change his surname to "Pi". Secondly, no matter what profession David chose to pursue, he had to agree to publicise Pi at every instance, by using the world famous number (3.14159265359) at every given opportunity.

A typical day for David Pi (nee Jones) starts with him being awoken at 3.14am by his alarm clock, tuned to 314 on the AM dial, awaking him with the sound of white noise, from being tuned between stations. David has come to love and hate the sound of white noise, to this day insisting on insterting 3.14 decibels of it into every song he works on.

David then sprints the 3.14 seconds to his round dining table, sitting at the first of 3.14 chairs nestled beneath it. He then tucks into 3.14 Weetabix, or grapefruits, depending on how he feels that day. Then it's a swift 3.14 minute sprint to the bus stop, where he catches the Number 314 bus directly to "314 Studios & Bakery".

And so his working day begins.

David, working at a circular mixing console, sits menacingly in the middle, concentrating almost unbearably intently on the first of what will be 3.14 songs that he will work on that day. After working straight through to mid-afternoon, at 3.14pm he has a short 3.14 minute break, during which he wolfs down 3.14 of his famous "Dave's Pies" pies, freshly made in the bakery above the studio that very morning by his Assistant Engineer & Head Baker, Thomas Joy (more about him in a forthcoming post..). Then, it's back to work for another 3.14 hours, before sprinting to his part-time job, coincidentally situated exactly 3.14 miles away, at Noble's Book Barn.

3.14 hours later, after a gruelling shift of manually lugging mountains of cut-price books around, David slinks next door, exactly 3.14 metres away, to his 3.14 storey house, still finding the energy somehow to skip up the 3.14 doorsteps, falling asleep 3.14 seconds after his head hits the pillow on his 3.14 poster bed. His 3.14 tog quilt helping whisk him away to a relaxing and energising 3.14 hours of sleep. Will he dream? Will he have 3.14 dreams? Nobody knows. But what we do know, is that David Pi is up there with the best producer/bakers we have. So if you have a record that needs recording, or a Pie that needs Pi-ing, and noone else can help; then maybe you should call 01603 314159 and hire, David Pi.