Anyone that has ever had to drive (or worse still, walk!) down Norwich's Aylsham Road will know that it's stuck in a bit of a timewarp; getting worse the further from the City you get. Nowhere moreso than at old fashioned recording studio, "Old's Cool Studios".

The studio's owner Jason Badluck had this to say:

"Old fashioned? Old fashioned?!? I don't know what you're talking about! Shows how much you know, because I've already started updating our equipment! Only last week I installed our new Wax Cylinder Recorder, so all the people that have been saying that we should "get with the 40s" are going to be eating humble pie. Also, we're getting more involved with the local community by hosting a "Charleston Competition" at the Gala Ballroom later this month. Anything to support the war effort. I hope people turn up, as I was hoping to skim a bit off the top of the proceeds, cos I need to raise a bit of money to finish building my Anderson Shelter..

Long-suffering receptionist Anna Log explained "Mr Badluck has gradually marginalised the studio more and more over the years, turning away band after band that he deems "too modern", to the point that he now only accepts bookings from Skiffle bands. I really don't think the studio can survive much longer."

In answer to these accusations Mr Badluck said "Skiffle is the future, and I can't see it ever going out of style, so I've re-mortgaged the studio to fund my new record label "Badluck Recordings", so that I can put out 78s by all the great new Skiffle bands in the Norwich area. We're going straight to the tippety top!"

Ms Log went on "and to make matters worse, he insists that everyone wears black & white clothes, and walks around slightly faster than normal, so that he can carry on pretending that it's "The Olden Days"! If anyone turns up at the studio wearing anything that isn't black or white, he rushes in, screaming at the top of his lungs "No! No! No! We can't afford the Colour License!". To be honest, I think he's going a bit mental. Don't tell him I said that though, or he'll knock a Shilling off my wages!"

Yeah, erm, well, we wish the studio the best of luck in these difficult times..

Seattlite singer/songwriter (via-Ireland) James Eliot Taylor, has over the last few years been accepted into the hearts and ears of the Norwich music scene. Well, we've just discovered that his awesome double-barrelled name is actually not his real name!

Here's the full shocking story:

10 years ago, when James first moved to the UK from America, he got a job in a Tailors shop in London's Saville Row. Like everyone else that works in London, he felt obliged to have a business card. In an attempt to save money, he phoned up "Dial-A-Card", the cut-price business card store, and ordered 1000 cards.

But when the cards arrived, instead of saying "James Eliot - Tailor", they said "James Eliot Taylor".

All 1000 of them!

So as not to waste money, James used the cards anyway, and out of embarrasment over the mix-up, he began writing songs about being awkward and stupid. At gigs he would introduce himself with the words "Hi! I'm James Eliot Taylor", rather than "Hi! I'm James Eliot; I'm a Taylor", just so he didn't have to explain the mistake with the business cards.

Needless to say, his Tailoring career didn't last long, but over the next few years he eventually handed out all 1000 of the cards, to fans of his music, and a songy-singwriter legend was born..

J.E.T, we salute you!

Guys, your wells are gettin' a bit rumsey..

Norwich's Rumsey Wells pub has a new venture that everyone needs to know about. BTW, we were checking out the history of the pub, and found that "Rumsey Wells" is Gaelic slang for "Dirty Beer Kegs", so if you feel sick after drinking there, that could be one of the reasons.. Remember, we bring you these rumours as soon as we hear about them, no matter how made-up and unfounded they are!

Oh yeah, so anyway, back to life, back to reality; here's what we were going to tell you about.

There's a new shop in the basement of the Rumsey, selling stuff by local "artists"!

"What?!?" I hear you cry, "is Norwich ready for such an innovation?". To that I would say, "there's no need to be sarcastic".

The Rumsey Wells tried for months to think of the perfect name for the shop, and after many sleepless nights & bottomless glasses of wine they had to throw in the towels and call the only person that they could truly trust to think of a an imaginative name.

Yep, that's right!

They employed the services of 70s TV themetune writer extraordinaire, Ronnie Hazelhurst, writer of TV's "Blankety Blank" themetune, as well as the "Supermatch Game" jingle from the same show, which is basically identical to the themetune, apart from replacing the words "Blankety Blank" with "Supermatch Game"..
We can now unveil that the Rumsey Wells shop is called........................
.........................
.................
........

............."Shop"..


Well done Ronnie! You've done it again! Pure genius..



(this is actually old news, but we've been away, and decided to publish it anyway, so give us a break, yeah?)

Dead End Jobs.

Young local indie band "Dead Ends" have exciting news for us! In a bid to fit in with their band name, they've all got new jobs! Ben, Adam & Connor have all got jobs at local hairdressing salon "Curl Up And Dye". Toby the drummer wasn't accepted for the hairdressing job, so he did the next best thing, and got an accounting job at Norwich County Council!.
We wish you all the best of luck!

"OPEN" For Business.

Christian Owner of "OPEN", Norwich's self-styled religious youth fun camp, has at long last decided that trying to help out the youth of Norwich is a waste of time; and so is religion.. "Christian Owner", Christian Owner (his actual name is Christian Owner!), had this to say: "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, with all that religious stuff, and trying to help the kids an' that. I feel like a right charlie now, I can tell ya! I'm down ta me last million quid, and then I'm gonna 'ave ta go back ta floggin' secondhand cars dahn by the ringroad.."

Mr Owner also had this to say: "Well, I took a few classes in Hypnotism, and I've been tryin' ta make everyone forget that OPEN was ever an under-18s based, strictly non-alcoholic, christianity-pushin' yoof centre. So now what we're doin' is sellin' booze, an' puttin' on gigs that are strictly Over-18s only. Anyfin' to stop those fackin' kids getting back into the building! They were a  pain in the jaxy, I can tell ya! No respect! Many's a time I 'ad to give one a them a thack rand the earole! Little cants!"


We asked Mr Owner how he intended to make the venue a success, without being able to rely on the millions of pounds of youth grants & weekly religious collections, that the place had previously relied on. He replied "well, we've fand that if we put people on the "guestlist", but still charge them £3 to get in, then we can fool all the local music scene idiots into feelin' special, but we're basically chargin' them almost what they would've paid to get into a similar gig at any other local venue!"

He went on: "That's where the real money is. Trickin' people. It's workin' a treat. I've also been hypnotisin' them once they're inside, so that they spend more at our "soul-less Travelodge-Reception-esque bar". What I've been doin' is, I get the sand engineer to crank up the bassdrum WAY louder than it needs to be, an' once people are confused and distracted by the throbbin' in their gut, I then get 'em ta play subliminal messages through the PA system, and through speakers hidden in the toilets. It's working a treat sofar!"

Well, we here at Norwich Music Rumours Uncovered are going to be supporting the new venue wholeheartedly, as anything is better than nothing; and we urge you to do the same thing. Praise The Lord!

Our team of Norwich music scene insiders are scouring the pubs, bars, crypts, and venues of Norwich, to bring you the latest news, facts & rumours (and just plain made-up lies!), before they hit the conventional "Media". We ARE the news! Don't you forget it!

Next rumour will be online tomorrow at noon. Keep 'em peeled!

THIS JUSTIN! - Local soup-or-group "The Broken Seas" have revealed exactly where their band name comes from. Fliss Kitson, Norwich's 2nd best drumming-taxedermist, collects vintage typewriters, often in a bad state of repair. She then spends her free time taking them to pieces, and putting all the best bits together, to make what she describes as "Super Typewriters, with all the best letters on them, including the letter "F", erm, "L" is on there; and "I", and a couple of "S's" too. Like I said, all the best letters!". Unfortunately, this has left her with many unused typewriter parts, including a very large bag full of all "the broken c's"..

We're STILL back! Good news for music fans.

Well, we didn't believe the synchronicity of the following piece of news, but apparently it turns out that it's true. And believe me, we're as stunned as you will be. Over the past week-or-so, from various different sources, we've heard that a bunch of former Norwich music venues are re-opening, in various guises. Yep, we aren't kidding. We can't give you all the details yet, but re-opening, as music venues (at least partly), in the next 3-12 months, are:
Fat Paulies (under a different name, different owners)
The Ferryboat (soundproofed, with different owners)
The Marquee (soundproofed, same owners)
Orford Cellar (60s venue where Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie and Rod Stewart played! The original owners re-bought it from Nando's, who weren't even using it!)

We hope you'll agree that this is fantastic news for the Norwich music scene. We here at NMRU couldn't be more excited, cos if we were, we'd fall off our pedestal..

WE'RE BACK!

Did you miss us? We've been a wafer so long! Today we have two news items for your grubby mitts. Some great Norwich based stuff to look forward to over the coming months. LET'S GO GO!

This year's Norwich & Norfolk Festival is breaking with tradition, and we here at NMRU couldn't be more excited! This year's event won't feature classical, jazz, or any other kind of old person's music. Instead, this year's festival will cater to the taste's of Norwich's many thousands of young people, and will feature all your favourite local bands, no matter whether they're acoustic, indie, metal, dubstep, emo, grunge, hiphop, riot grrrl, chillwave, or reggae, or any other genre that the youngsters are listening to right now. Seriously, NNF12 is going to cater for the young people of Norwich this year, rather than mainly putting on stuff that middle-aged posh people would like. Cool, right!? It's gonna be awesome!